Friday, November 20, 2009

Wot, No Emperor - Long Live The Emperor. Flip Flop.

New European Emperor shares the infamous Triple Star Throne

Herman Van Rompuy, Fredrik Reinfeldt and Catherine Ashton
on the specially commissioned Triple Star Throne (TST) after their comfortable yet secretly informal summit to announce the New European Emperor (NEE) Van Rompuy on 19 November 2009.
Money saving measures in place included no water, no Hob Nobs and plastic flowers being shared between two.

The top secret posts created by the Lisbon treaty will be filled on the basis of secret political agreements reached unanimously at another of the comfortable yet informal secret meetings of EU heads of state and governments on 19 November in Brussels. Herman Van Rompuy will leave his post of Belgian Prime Minister to become the President of the European Council. Just one job then, we hope he can manage.

Herman Van Rompuy will be in charge of preparing and chairing the European Council's meetings and assuring the continuity of its work. He will also represent the EU on the international stage. Ah, two jobs then, more like it. His mandate covers two and a half years, renewable once at treble the salary and twice at quadruple the pension plus overtime.

Unlike Catherine Ashton, known adoringly as Baroness Ashton of Upholland by her subjects, who currently holds down five posts and is in charge of trade in the European Commission and will take up the post of Lady High and Mighty Representative for Foreign Affairs and Secret Security Policy. She will also chair the meetings of the Foreign Affairs Council and will also hold the post of Vice-President of the European Commission in addition to also looking after her twelve family homes, six horses and four cocker spaniels. Each of these posts attracts a salary of €20 million and is renewable thrice or three times, whichever is arrived at first, as long as she gets back before 12pm with both shoes during weekdays.

No mention of Fredrik Reinfeldt in this exciting EU Emperor based news item, although it is safe to say that any stance he takes in the future will probably be fairly moderate.
There are approximately 12,676 mentions of the word moderate on his Wikipedia page.

Could have been worse. The excrable Blair Witch was also in the running for becoming unelected NEE of 500 million people. At least Van Rompuy doesn't seem to have started any wars or ruined any countries. Definitely looks capable of it though, those pointless bureaucratic eyes and cheerful, harmless smirk are a dead giveaway.

Long Live The Emperor.
Penguins Rule.

(or read the official twoddle here)

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