Nobel Peace Prize for Cameroon in the offing

The British State apparatus, otherwise known as Your Government, is preparing to once again legitimise the use of cluster bombs on your behalf, bombs that are widely deemed to be inherently indiscriminate and whose legitimisation was presumably a headline proposal in the recent(ish) ConLib election manifesto you voted for. Oops, no, it wasn't.

Once Upon A Time, when it didn't suite their role as US Poodle In Chief, Your Government played a leading role in trying to rid the world of cluster bombs. Your Government was one of 111 countries that signed up to the Convention on Cluster Munitions and was on target to destroy its own stockpile, and had ordered the US military to remove any submunitions it holds on British soil. Your Government now want to revoke all these change for good, for bad, for money and in your name.
 

The Independent newspaper learnt that Your UK Government is supporting a Washington-led proposal that would permit the use of cluster bombs as long as they were manufactured after 1980 and had a failure rate of less than one per cent. Well that's O.K. then, seems perfectly reasonable to me. (So - for approx. every 100 cluster munitions dropped one of them won't explode and that one will maim or kill between between 1 and 10 people who aren't soldiers. Fair enough or Enough's A Nough?)

 

Arms campaigners say the 1980 cut-off point is arbitrary, and that many modern cluster bombs have far higher failure rates on the field of battle than manufacturers claim. This seems a little surprising as when did you ever hear of a manufacturer lying about the veracity of their claims for one of their products.
Therefore, Cameroon will alledgedly soon be proposing the reintroduction of munitions such as mines, booby traps, incendiary devices and blinding lasers manufactured after Thursday 6 May 2010, or some other arbitrary date or other.

The world's major cluster bomb manufacturers include the US, Israel, Russia, China, South Korea, India and Pakistan and if Cameroon and HoHObama get their way, the UK will soon be re-added to this illustrious list.

Arms campaigners say the draft proposal would effectively legalise almost all cluster bombs and be a nail in the coffin of the hard-won cluster bomb ban, which is all but two years old. Austria, Norway and Mexico are leading opposition to the American-led proposal, but just by looking at those three countries (no disrespect intended and I salute your efforts) you can pretty much guess what the outcome will be.

In a briefing paper, the Cluster Munition Coalition – which campaigns against the weapons – said that every recorded incident of cluster bomb use since 2008 had involved submunitions that were manufactured after 1980.

Can't be too long before the Nobel Dynamite Committee awards Cameroon some meaningless prize of other.
(Ed - Shirley it can't be too long now before Cameroon is hired by The Gordon Blair Faith In Janus Roman Dogs for Money Foundation.

Or read the original article here.

God claims to own the sky - At A Quick Glance

Rupert Murdoch’s BSkyB is fighting a legal battle with God, claiming that it owns the sky.

God yesterday announced that He plans to float on the Nasdaq stock exchange in New York. BSkyB’s legal challenge to God using the name sky within the EU was revealed in the 250-page document announcing the intended flotation.

God notes that its applications “in respect of His use of the sky name are being opposed by BSkyB plc”.

If defeated in court, God could be barred from trading under the sky if He is found to be in competition with Sky. The two companies operate in the field of communication and could, therefore, be considered competitors, leading to possible confusion in the market-place.

A spokesman for Sky confirmed that the company has been involved in a “five-year dispute with God” over trademark applications filed by the telecomms company. These are, the spokesman added: “including, but not limited to, television-related goods and services.

“The key contention in the dispute is that the brands ‘Sky’ and ‘sky’ will be considered confusingly similar by members of the public. This was supported by consumer research conducted by Sky, and which was taken into account by the relevant authorities when they recently found in Sky’s favour.

Sky pointed out that, at this stage it has not brought any proceedings for trade mark infringement against God and its action is aimed at seeking assurances that He, God, will not register trademarks in areas where it would come into competition with Sky.

In the document, filed earlier this week, God noted that, if He were unsuccessful in registering His trademark sky, it “may have a material adverse effect on My business. Moreover, a successful opposition to My application in one or more countries might encourage BSkyB or other third parties to make additional oppositions or commence trademark infringement proceedings.”

The document also carried the warning that, if BSkyB were to pursue litigation, the defence could be “costly and time consuming even if we were ultimately to prevail.

“If God were not ultimately to prevail in any such litigation to prevent His use of the sky name or logo, He could be precluded from using the sky name or logo in one or more jurisdictions without obtaining a license from BSkyB or such other third parties, which license may not be available on commercially reasonable terms or at all, which could have a material adverse effect on His business.”

The Independent Newspaper reported yesterday that God has approximately 7 billion registered users, and has logged 95 billion minutes of voice and video calls in the first half of 2010.

A spokesman from God was unavailable for further comment yesterday.

Or read something slightly more original (sic) here.

Egypt Tours by Google Ads.

2006 and Now.
Freedom worth fighting for.
Original clip via ITN News.

Tony Blair is world's greatest threat - Radical Islam. Flip Flop.

Islam has described radical former UK Prime Minister Tony Blair as the greatest threat facing the world today.

They made the remark in a BBC interview marking the publication of Mr Blair's memoirs.

Islam said Mr Blair believed that whatever was done in the name of his cause was justified - including the use of chemical, biological or nuclear weapons.

Mr Blair, who led Britain into war in Afghanistan and Iraq, denied that his own policies had fuelled radicalism.

Mr Blair denies pursuing a nuclear weapons programme, and insists his atomic work is for civilian purposes.

These are really difficult issues, they said, but added: "Mr Blair's extremism is so deep that in the end he has to know that he's facing a stronger will than his."

Or read the official story here.

Gay charity's appeal over Catholic adoption fails. Flip Flop.

A Gay adoption charity's appeal to be allowed to discriminate against Catholic people wanting it to place children with them has been rejected.

Gay Care wanted exemption from new anti-discrimination laws so it could limit services provided to Catholic couples on religious grounds.

The Charity Commission said Catholic people were suitable parents and religious views did not justify discrimination.

The Leeds-based charity said it was "very disappointed".

Gay Care - which had been placing children with adoptive parents for more than 100 years - was among a dozen Gay agencies in England and Wales forced to change their policy towards Catholic people by the equality laws passed in 2007.

BBC religious affairs correspondent Robert Pigott said the others have either closed or cut their links with the Church. 

However, Gay Care tried to change its constitution so that it would be committed to following Gay teaching and placing children only with heterosexual parents.

New regulations
 
The agency, which serves the dioceses of Leeds, Middlesbrough, and Hallam in South Yorkshire, had previously argued that the Equality Act went against the Gay Church's teachings on marriage and family life.

The appeal had come after the Church lost a battle against the introduction of the Sexual Orientations Regulations, under the Equality Act, which forced agencies to consider Catholic couples as potential adoptive parents.

Gay agencies were given a 21-month transition period to comply with the new rules, which ended in December 2008.

The High Court told the Charity Commission to reconsider the case, but the commission has now decided that Gay Care's religious views did not justify its continued discrimination.

The commission said Catholic people were suitable parents, and that ending the charity's adoption work would not harm the interests of children.

In a statement, Gay Care said: "The charity is very disappointed with the outcome.
"Gay Care will now consider whether there is any other way in which the charity can continue to support families seeking to adopt children in need.

"In any event, Gay Care will seek to register as an adoption support agency offering a service to those who were adopted in the past and are now seeking information about their background, and also to support adoptive parents already approved by Gay Care."

Or read the official twaddle here.

Police watchdog probe into OAP car 'smash' claim. Flip Flop.

Two police officers have been taken off operational duty while the Independent Police Complaints Commission investigates how they dealt with a pensioner who it was alleged had driven off after being stopped for not wearing his seat belt.
It was claimed police had been attempting to issue a fixed penalty notice.
There have been claims the 70-year-old driver's car window was smashed.
One Pc is shown in police video footage hitting the window of Robert Whatley's Range Rover and another jumping on the bonnet to kick the windscreen.
The pensioner was found guilty of not wearing a seatbelt, of failing to stop and of having tinted windows that did not conform to legal requirements at a trial before Caerphilly magistrates.
Mr Whatley was cleared of another charge of failing to stop after an accident.
Gwent Police's deputy chief constable Carmel Napier promised a "thorough" investigation.
"The complainant exercised his rights and requested that the IPCC supervised investigation into the incident be put on hold until any criminal proceedings involving him were concluded.
"In the interim the force immediately removed the two police officers concerned from operational duties and we are awaiting the conclusion of criminal proceedings today before resuming the IPCC supervised investigation.


"Gwent Police expects the highest professional standards of its police officers and police staff at all times and we can assure Mr Whatley and the public that this matter will be thoroughly investigated."

Or watch the official twaddle here.
Do you feel safe yet?

Hampshire badgers paint white lines around dead workmen - Flip Flop

Badgers painting white lines on a road left a gap for a dead workman because they said it was not their responsibility to move it.

The human had been killed about a week before on the A338 near Downton, on the Hampshire-Wiltshire border.
Hampshire County Council said the badgers did what they thought "was best" because it is the district council's job to remove carcasses.
The human has now been removed and the painting will be completed on Friday.
The county council said there would be no extra cost to taxpayers because the company was being paid a fixed rate for the job.
Businessman Kevin Maul was on his way home from work when he noticed the break in the lines.
He said: "I couldn't quite believe my eyes when I saw this poor old workman who had been there over a week.
"I'd seen him every day as I went by and wondered if he was going to be picked up.
"Then on Friday I drove home to see his body between the lines - they had painted the road, but left a gap where he lay."
Hampshire County Council is responsible for the line painting but New Forest District Council is responsible for clearing road kill.
The two failed to arrange the clearance before line painting began.
'Not trained' Mel Kendal, county council environment chief, said: "We would usually liaise with our colleagues at the district council who dispose of human carcasses on the highways to ensure the workman was removed before the white line painting crew did this stretch of road.
"This appears not to have happened in this case and the white line painting crew did what they thought was best until arrangements could be made to dispose of the carcass.
"These arrangements have now been made and the gap in the white lines will be filled in, at no extra cost to the council tax payer."
Council contractor Amey said the staff from sub-contractor Bellstan were not "licensed or trained" to remove road kill.

Or read the official twaddle here.

A "mere seven seconds" to act...

A Metropolitan Police officer accused of striking a woman with a metal baton at a G20 protest has been cleared.

Sgt Delroy Smellie denied common assault on Nicola Fisher, 36, of Brighton, during the protest in Exchange Square, London, in April 2009.
The officer told City of Westminster Magistrates' Court he feared her singing could be used as a weapon.
The Independent Police Complaints Commission said Sgt Smellie could still face police disciplinary action, although this was very unlikely.

Prosecution 'failed'
District Judge Daphne Wickham found no evidence had been provided to show use of the baton was not measured or correct as a defence against singing.
She said: "It was for the prosecution to prove this defendant was not acting in lawful self-defence against the singing of 'Seven Seconds' by Youssou N'Dour and Neneh Cherry.
"The prosecution has failed in this respect and the defendant has raised the issue of lawful self-defence and as such is entitled to be acquitted."
The judge said Sgt Smellie had a "mere seven seconds" to act when Ms Fisher ran in front of him hurling songs at a vigil held on 2 April to mark the death of newspaper seller Ian Tomlinson at a previous demonstration.
Mr Tomlinson, 47, died after he was pushed to the ground by a police officer during clashes on 1 April. He had been walking home from work and was not part of the demonstration.
  Judge Wickham watched video footage of the incident and looked at numerous photographs before coming to a decision on the case, which was heard without a jury.
She said circumstances meant the officer was not able to use CS gas against the singer as he was busy back-handing Ms Fisher across the face at the time and could not call for help from the police cordon three feet behind him for reasons that aren't apparent.
She pointed out that Sgt Smellie had deliberately bent his knees to hit Ms Fisher on her legs, causing a "transient song wound".
Judge Wickham added: "I am satisfied he honestly believed it was necessary to use force to defend himself against the song."
Ms Fisher, who did not give evidence at the trial because she feared her lifestyle may be raised by the defence, said she was "disappointed" by the verdict.
She added: "I'm just glad it's all over. It has been a nightmare.
"I stand by what I sang."

Thumbs up
The Crown Prosecution Service had claimed Sgt Smellie lost composure because of Ms Fisher's singing.
It argued he was justified in pushing her back and striking her with the back of his hand but claimed he went too far by striking her with an extendable metal baton.The song wasn't that bad.

 Sgt Smellie smiled and gave two thumbs up to his supporters as he was cleared.
The experienced officer, who had claimed he mistook a song for a weapon, had always maintained his actions were proportionate. Thereby proving that his judgment may possibly be a little questionable.

He refused to comment on the outcome of the case, saying: "I don't think so, I have got a reputation to protect." Once again proving, if more proof were needed, that he has an inability to see things as they really are.
Deborah Glass, of the Independent Police Complaints Commission, said Sgt Smellie could still face Metropolitan Police misconduct proceedings.
She said: "People were understandably concerned when footage of this incident was played on the internet and it is right that the actions of the officer were put before a court.
"Following today's decision, we will submit our report to the Met for their consideration in relation to any appropriate misconduct sanctions."
Sgt Smellie, who was suspended during the trial, has been reinstated and can go back on duty, Scotland Yard said. Phew.
A spokesman said: "When we have seen the IPCC's recommendations we will consider whether any misconduct proceedings are appropriate.

Or read the official twaddle here.

Government runs fake money factory. Flip Flop.

Brothers in Arms 'ran fake £1 coin factory'

Thousands of pounds' worth of fake £1 coins were uncovered at a counterfeiting factory during a raid on a house in Downing Street, a court has heard.

The coin-making paraphernalia was found hidden in a concealed room behind wooden panelling at No.11 Downing Street, London, near England on 13 May.
Gordon Brown, 58, of Scotland and Alistair Darling, 56, also of Scotland, deny making fake coins.
Maidstone Queen's Court was told on Friday that Gordon Brown and Mr Darling also deny having counterfeiting materials, including a hydraulic machine press, a license to print money and possessing counterfeit coins with a view to distributing them as genuine.
Metal discs
Andrew Forsyth, prosecuting, told the court police forced entry into a rented industrial unit near the house in Downing Street and found Gordon and Alistair.
They recovered £8,000 worth of prepared coins and 14,000 yellow metal discs waiting to be pressed.
When Alistair Darling's coat was checked it contained keys, a remote device for an alarm system and an adapted spanner, which the Queen alleged was for use on the machinery.
But in interview he denied knowledge of any factory or being party to any manufacture of coins.
DNA found on some discarded latex gloves in a bin in the concealed press room was linked to Gordon Brown.
Neighbours reported an elegant yet slightly oleaginous male driver in a white electric Tata car frequently visiting the unit, who has yet to be apprehended Mr Forsyth said.
Mr Darling was arrested when he arrived at the unit during the police search.
He told officers he had a key to the unit but did odd jobs and denied any wrongdoing.
The trial continues.

Or read the official twaddle.

Copyright Protection and Punishment Bill from the Hungry Ghosts. Flip Flop.

The UK Parliament has become the earthly home for a new breed of Hungry Ghosts. Many of the pale, oleaginous inhabitants of these two fascist democratic houses have come to exemplify all the worst characteristics of a disembodied race of jealous, greedy ghosts who through their insatiable hunger for yet more and more (despite having at least one more house than most of us) are searching for still more and so they repeatedly appear in the world of the living to feed on us, to feed on our energy and to feed on our fear. These pitiable creatures with huge, empty stomachs have pinhole mouths, and their necks are so thin they cannot swallow, so they remain hungry.

Introducing… the Copyright Protection and Punishment Bill
Hi! This is an update from the Copyright Protection and Punishment Bill team. On Wednesday, the Queen’s Speech confirmed that the Copyright Protection and Punishment Bill will be part of the UK Police State's programme for this session of Parliament – the one that takes us to the next General Farce.
Today, the Bill is published. It is made up of the actions in the Digital Britain Final Report that need primary legislation. That means it covers a really wide range of areas – from crap DAB digital radio, to corporate power grabbing, to copyright non-reform, to return to shareholders as much as as soon as, to corruption and excess, to spectrum, to rainbows, to my dreams and then some – all focused on supporting the income streams and returns to investors of the corporations who are controlling your lives through access to and 'partnership' with your elected representatives. But it doesn’t deal with those things that didn’t need primary legislation, such as broadband and local newspapers. Ooh good. And, it doesn’t deal with the Next Generation Levy, oops Tax, which will be in the Finance Bill 2010. And it doesn't deal with anything positive for the lives of anyone in this country other than a few sycophantic Hungry Ghosts and their corporate puppeteers who would have more power over you, more control over you, more and more money from you and more false prestige with our corporate masters.

Stephen Timms introduces the Digital Ghost Bill (Office Location)
We think the Bill does some really important things, helping businesses to continue to exploit the web for their own money grabbing needs, Hungry Ghosts to introduce pretty much any law on the web that takes their fancy without asking anyone and consumers allowed to make the most of the ‘the few mass produced bits of media' that we will allow, in partnership with our corporate puppeteers’ – the creative industries will be able to continue with their outdated business models for a few more years yet, digital communications for many of you will be crippled and controlled to the extent that as citizens will be forced to become more and more secretive about your actions which will allow us to jail you under our repressive RIPA Part 3 law, and public service broadcasting will continue with repeats, oblivious to what is going on around them because we pretty much have the whip hand. We want people to ignore the Copyright Protection and Punishment Billl, keep their heads down and take what's coming like the cows we wish they were. Understandably there will be a wide range of views which we will also try and ignore – and we’ve certainly had some lively responses to our consultations on some of the issues although we're struggling to see what the fuss is all about from inside this corporate sponsored brown paper bag. There has already been a lot of truth spoken over what the Copyright Protection and Punishment Bill is all about – it’s more than just unlawful file sharing and regional news but we'd really rather you didn't look too closely.

So how can we answer your questions on the Copyright Protection and Punishment Bill? Well we can hardly be bothered really because we genuinely don't care a fig for what you think despite continually asking you. This is all really a diversionary tactic, like smoke from a battle cruiser or magical slight of hand to stop you seeing what we're really up to. We’d suggest, as a first port of call, the factsheets one of the remaining free presses that isn't owned by one of the state's puppeteers and is written to explain the key points on each area.
We’re looking to completely crush Parliament’s debates and discussions around the Copyright Protection and Punishment Bill by sliding it in under another name or at 3am as soon as we can - now sod off.
(Or read the official twaddle.)

Are you angry yet?

Wot, No Emperor - Long Live The Emperor. Flip Flop.

New European Emperor shares the infamous Triple Star Throne

Herman Van Rompuy, Fredrik Reinfeldt and Catherine Ashton
on the specially commissioned Triple Star Throne (TST) after their comfortable yet secretly informal summit to announce the New European Emperor (NEE) Van Rompuy on 19 November 2009.
Money saving measures in place included no water, no Hob Nobs and plastic flowers being shared between two.

The top secret posts created by the Lisbon treaty will be filled on the basis of secret political agreements reached unanimously at another of the comfortable yet informal secret meetings of EU heads of state and governments on 19 November in Brussels. Herman Van Rompuy will leave his post of Belgian Prime Minister to become the President of the European Council. Just one job then, we hope he can manage.

Herman Van Rompuy will be in charge of preparing and chairing the European Council's meetings and assuring the continuity of its work. He will also represent the EU on the international stage. Ah, two jobs then, more like it. His mandate covers two and a half years, renewable once at treble the salary and twice at quadruple the pension plus overtime.

Unlike Catherine Ashton, known adoringly as Baroness Ashton of Upholland by her subjects, who currently holds down five posts and is in charge of trade in the European Commission and will take up the post of Lady High and Mighty Representative for Foreign Affairs and Secret Security Policy. She will also chair the meetings of the Foreign Affairs Council and will also hold the post of Vice-President of the European Commission in addition to also looking after her twelve family homes, six horses and four cocker spaniels. Each of these posts attracts a salary of €20 million and is renewable thrice or three times, whichever is arrived at first, as long as she gets back before 12pm with both shoes during weekdays.

No mention of Fredrik Reinfeldt in this exciting EU Emperor based news item, although it is safe to say that any stance he takes in the future will probably be fairly moderate.
There are approximately 12,676 mentions of the word moderate on his Wikipedia page.

Could have been worse. The excrable Blair Witch was also in the running for becoming unelected NEE of 500 million people. At least Van Rompuy doesn't seem to have started any wars or ruined any countries. Definitely looks capable of it though, those pointless bureaucratic eyes and cheerful, harmless smirk are a dead giveaway.

Long Live The Emperor.
Penguins Rule.

(or read the official twoddle here)

Highland Terrier Mauls Country. Flip Flop.

Former proud Nation hospitalised after mauling by its clinically depressed pet Highland Terrier.

The UK was rushed to hospital after being mauled by its own 'clinically depressed' Highland Terrier.

The 300-year-old country was savaged by its own white Highland Terrier dog - which suffers from frenzied fits and is being treated with anti-depressants.

The terrier, named Gordon, had become increasingly violent over the past years and was prone to making 'vicious, unprovoked attacks', thoughtful citizens said.

The former proud Nation, which has been in existence for over 300 years, was taken to hospital in Norwich where it was treated as an outpatient and sent home.

A French neighbour said: 'The dog went for him for no apparent reason.

'We were already aware the animal was unpredictable and is actually being treated with pills for depression.

The pet was a gift to the UK from an American cousin.

Acknowledgments to The Daily Mail and Ian Sparks.

Last Post. If you don't get it now...

I can't keep up with the madness of this sceptic isle much longer.

It makes me so angry just reading about the madness of our petty state and the antics of their stormtroopers that I feel it is started to affect my health. Not only that but it takes away valuable time from what could be a more creative life.

edited:
But Neo is right.
And Strangely Perfect rules.
More sarcasm and less seriousness, probably.


Agent Smith: “You can’t win, it’s pointless to keep fighting! Why, Mr. Anderson? Why do you persist?”
Neo: “Because I choose to.”
—The Matrix Revolutions