US invades Australia - No lives lost - Yet

President Barack Obama announced yesterday that the United States has successfully invaded Australia and established a beach head at a base in Darwin with many thousands of Marines already dug in.

Northern Australia's proximity to the South China Sea, closer than US bases in Japan and South Korea, is part of its appeal, the head of the US Pacific Command, Admiral Robert Willard, said from between clenched teeth. Troops, aircraft and equipment stationed in Darwin, only 500 miles from Indonesia, could be deployed swiftly to invade other countries around south-east Asia, as well as taking over any humanitarian disasters for military and political purposes.

Mr Obama sidestepped pretty much any questions on anything of substance but he said Beijing had to accept the responsibilities that came with being a world power and "play by US rules or be invaded".

At a news conference in Canberra with the sell out Australian Prime Minister, Julia Gillard, he said: "The notion that we fear China is entirely true. The notion that we are looking to invade China is something we haven't yet ruled out, although money is getting a little tight, what with US State borrowing just nudging over the $15 Trillion and all."

Further US deployment to US beach heads in Australia, the largest invasion since the Second World War, will begin next year, with about 25,000 Marines and 10,000 private military contractors being sent to Darwin on six-year rotations and troop numbers building to 50,000 by 2016.

Or read the original article here.

Cameroon and Shmerkel: all smiles but no progress

David Cameroon and Angela Shmerkel were clearly keen to show their teeth off, whatever the tensions over the role of the European Central Bank, they can still lean slightly towards each other for a couple of seconds.

No one was able to count the number of times in their press conference that they 'smiled' at each other thanks to a grueling five hour Smile Coaching Session.

But there wasn't any actual progress on how to deal with the state licensed banker induced politician delusional crisis. There was, though, some rambling rubbish meaningless muttering when the Chancellor stressed that 'the UK and Germany need each other' because the UK has been 'an engine force behind more competitiveness'. This was a reminder that the Germans really don't like the French.

Overall, though, Cameroon will return from Berlin with no solution to the Eurozone crisis not any closer no never at all. Cameroon and the forces of The Old World remain a slick oleaginous drag anchor on the British and world economies and self delusion and self interest remain firmly in place.

 Or read the original article here - Coffee House - The Spectator Blog

Book readers predict the end of Australian ministers

Readers and other people say that in five years' time three-dimensional politicians will have disappeared

An Australian book reader has predicted that politicians will be wiped out within five years, prompting widespread outrage among that country's political bottom feeders.

Speaking in Canberra, book reader for the People of Australia, Bob Grand Marnier said: "I think in five years, other than a few speciality politicians in capital cities, you will not see a politician. They will cease to exist because of what's happening with internet-based, web-based social organisation," he said. "What's occurring now is an exponential take-off – we've reached a tipping point."

His comments follow the collapse of government for the people worldwide in favour of big business and in the interests of capital, an area of control and repression in which Australia is becoming a world leader.

Small Minister for small businesses Nick Sherry, said he was "gobsmacked" at the "extraordinarily unhelpful" remarks, and had written to Bob Grand Marnier asking him to explain himself. "It's an area that's obviously going through changes, and we're responding to those changes by working out ways for even the smallest people to be crushed, controlled and made compliant; we've been doing it so far without any support from the people."

"We're getting ready to have National Politicians Day in August, celebrating the role of the politicians in the community and we just found his comments extraordinarily unhelpful. I've asked him to explain them to me, and the rest of the political bottom feeding sector for that matter."

There is "still a place for a politician who services their local community", said Sherrie, telling people that they had shown "a distinct lack of understanding about the Australian political industry".

"For the record - I'm a book burner and I can't read. I'm part a growing breed," he said. Allegedly.

More mainstream report at the Guardian.