Thursday, November 26, 2009

Someone lent all your money to a mate and forgot to tell you. Flip Flop.

The Bank of England (BOE) has revealed for the first time that it lent some of its mates at Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) and HBOS (Halifax Bank Of Scotland) £61.6bn in emergency funding last autumn. The BOE is considering whether or not to reveal this for a second time in January when it thinks people will be too hung over to care any less than they do now about them lending billions of our money in secret.

Bank governor Mervyn King (MK) told a committee of MPs (Members of Police state) it "was to prevent a loss of confidence spreading through the financial system (Con Tricki) as a whole" and that after much £oul £earching he had decided that the loss of confidence in yet another part of the UK Corporate State by its citizens was as nothing compared to the loss of any of his mates jobs, salaries or bonuses and that their warm, grateful opinion of him mattered a damn sight more.
The money was repaid in full by January this year, he added just in time, thankful that he hadn't revealed this particular secret lending plan of our money for the first time before it had been paid back, which would have looked really bad. Phew.
A spokesman for the prime minister said it was "a powerful reminder" of how all the banking system (Bull Shit) had nearly been seen through by people.

It was also revealed that Lord High Chancellor Alistair Darling (can't be bothered to make up an acronym for him) had agreed to secretly underwrite any losses which the Bank may have made on the secret loans of our money to bankers from his own piggy bank. 
The Liberal Democrats have called on Mr Darling (no acronym) to explain to the House of Commons (First Class Carriage) why the Secret Police State Treasury secret guarantees were kept secret (sic).
Vince Cable, the party's Treasury spokesman, called it a "shocking cover-up". Ooh.
Shadow Lord High Chancellor George Osborne (even less bothered about him until he gets power and can muck things up for himself) said the revelations about the secret loans showed the need to reform the system of banking regulation because some of his mates would no doubt need secret help when he finally loses his shadow.
"The scale of these loans raises the question of how The Police State's tripartite regulatory structure allowed these banks to come so close to collapse in the first place, and underlines the need for some fairly minor reforms to put the Bank of England back in my pocket in the future," he said. 
It is the first time that the central bank has detailed this support for the two institutions.
MK (Mervyn King) said the Secret Bank was acting in its capacity as the lender of lost resort.
The loans, which were given in October and November of 2008, were in addition to other secret financial support measures extended to the banks by the Secret State.
The chairman of the Treasury Committee (LOL), John McFall :-), said that when he saw the amount there had been "a little bit of an intake of breath (my emphasis but his words unbelievably)  thinking how many universities, how many colleges, how many jobs you could support with this". Ooh.

The BOE (Bank of England) said it had carefully considered the public interest case for disclosure but decided that "this was pretty much irrelevant nowadays as the people don't matter a damn and we figure we can pretty much do what we want what with the Secret Police State and all...".
RBS (Rubbish Bank of Scotland) has since signed up for the government's Secret Asset Protection Scheme (SAPS we are) while Lloyds Banking Group (LllGBOBgogogohaaaaagh) - which took over HBOS (Halifax Bank Of Scotland) - has announced plans to raise capital from its shareholders because they now have so much of the taxpayers money sloshing around in their pockets that it's a bit embarrassing, thanks to all the gifts of your money to them by the Secret State.
The BBC's chief economics correspondent Hugh Pym said that the £62bn of emergency loans were agreed just as shareholders were being asked to approve the takeover of HBOS (which is not officially an acronym even though it's an acronym). He suggested that shareholders might be unhappy at not being told earlier. Ooh.

 (or read the official twoddle here)

Do you feel angry yet.

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